Crashville...

When I moved to Nashville I knew that to stay here I would have to have family here, my own or start a new one.  I had been here a while.  I can't even begin to tell the things I have been through since arriving here in 2002 (spiritual and otherwise) with cd in hand, except to say that I am a different person than when I arrived.  The worst of times led me to the best thing I have ever done, which was turn over my life to Jesus in a car after church one Sunday.  I couldn't control my life any more (evidently wasn't doing a very good job anyway) and I gave up and gave in to God's will.   Not that anything became easier after that!  But that was the start.

Let's just say, the business of music is not easy.  Ask me sometime and I'll tell you, too much to mention here... But when I wrote the song "Love & Roses" I felt like I was dying.  I literally felt like I had depleted all my resources within my body and around me.  With a broken band, broken friendships, a broken house and a broken heart, I gave up on Nashville.

I sold my house (the DAY before the flood), put everything I owned in storage.   I was supposed to move into another house and that didn't work out.  So I was going to take a month off and then start renting a house and that didn't work out.  Then I got a job in Atlanta, so I took it.  I didn't really know what I was going to do.  I told God I'd do whatever He wanted me to if He would just speak loud enough for me to hear. 

I was working at a clothing store in Virginia Highlands, I told myself it would be great experience if I ever decided to open a store.  But it was just a job.  I was awake in the middle of the night, sleeping on my parents couch, and I started praying.  I raised my hands and asked God to give me work for my hands, I don't know exactly why I prayed this, except for feeling that I wanted to find my life's work!!  If it's not music, SHOW ME what it is?  The next MORNING at 11 am, my friend called me from Nashville with a job offer.  It was a great job, part time flexible hours, so I could still write and pursue music.  (It was her old job and she had just got offered a job as the assistant to a pastor at a big church in Nashville).  If I wanted the job I had to move back and start in 2 weeks.  The job? (and remember my prayer for "work for my hands") Cleaning!!!!!!!  Ha!  Don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor... And also shopping, organizing, working with landcapers, computer people, decorating, cooking, buying his Christmas tree, decorating it, taking dog to the vet, anything the doctor wants me to do... The job is "house manager" for a doctor.  Anyway, every time I'm cleaning I have to laugh at that.  And that I told God I would do anything He asked me to do.  I think He was testing me, but I'm not going to let Him down.

So I interviewed with the doctor, got the job, and moved back to Nashville last October.

Why did God bring me back here?  I don't know.  I'm just showing up, suiting up and waiting...  I think God wants to teach me about patience as well, I never was good at that.